Saturday 7 February 2009

Relationships with the son/daughter-in-law

With all the good intentions you might have, misunderstandings do creep in relationships with family members who are imported from other families. Reasons might be - different backgrounds, your own or others expectations, preconceived notions or different perception of family values in a foreign land.

A few suggested tips which may (or may not) work can be :
Treat other party as your own offspring yet maintain dignity and distance
Uninvited interference or suggestions are at times not welcome- so the best course is to avoid

Be truthful and honest but give next Gen space of their own. Respect their views if possible, at least do not outright reject it.

Be flexible and compromising, your own 40-50years of wisdom (?)may not necessarily match next generation's views, so best not to impose it. Accept changes gracefully and you would not be disappointed.

Do not be judgemental , Think what your own son/daughter would
have done/acted in similar circumstances

Humour lightens the life but be sure the recipient is accepting it as such. Sometimes it may backfire.

Let children plan their own life. suggestions should only be given if asked for unless you feel strongly about something. However be tactful if giving suggestions. Pretend it is their own idea.

Remember you did not always listen to your parents, so don't expect it from your children or grand children and you will not be disappointed.
Good luck.

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