With all the good intentions you might have, misunderstandings do creep in relationships with family members who are imported from other families. Reasons might be - different backgrounds, your own or others expectations, preconceived notions or different perception of family values in a foreign land.
A few suggested tips which may (or may not) work can be :
Treat other party as your own offspring yet maintain dignity and distance
Uninvited interference or suggestions are at times not welcome- so the best course is to avoid
Be truthful and honest but give next Gen space of their own. Respect their views if possible, at least do not outright reject it.
Be flexible and compromising, your own 40-50years of wisdom (?)may not necessarily match next generation's views, so best not to impose it. Accept changes gracefully and you would not be disappointed.
Do not be judgemental , Think what your own son/daughter would
have done/acted in similar circumstances
Humour lightens the life but be sure the recipient is accepting it as such. Sometimes it may backfire.
Let children plan their own life. suggestions should only be given if asked for unless you feel strongly about something. However be tactful if giving suggestions. Pretend it is their own idea.
Remember you did not always listen to your parents, so don't expect it from your children or grand children and you will not be disappointed.
Good luck.
Saturday, 7 February 2009
To keep occupied
Options are:
Spend quality time with family/ grand children
Admire local scenery, markets and Pubs (be a bit careful)
Indulge in your favourite past time which you could not do during your active life.( Music, Study exotic subjects including religion, Learn more about the wonders of computer.....)
Mend your children’s garden/hedges
Cleaning
Above all experiment with foods ( at least giving helping hand in preparation)
Explore local travel options
Watch Movies, TV, internet wonders
Hone your writing skills
Now you have the time to enjoy life so enjoy it, while making yourself useful at the time of need as well fulfilling your own life.
Spend quality time with family/ grand children
Admire local scenery, markets and Pubs (be a bit careful)
Indulge in your favourite past time which you could not do during your active life.( Music, Study exotic subjects including religion, Learn more about the wonders of computer.....)
Mend your children’s garden/hedges
Cleaning
Above all experiment with foods ( at least giving helping hand in preparation)
Explore local travel options
Watch Movies, TV, internet wonders
Hone your writing skills
Now you have the time to enjoy life so enjoy it, while making yourself useful at the time of need as well fulfilling your own life.
Driving a car
One can hire a Car or use personal Car. You need valid international driving licence and Insurance. It is an offence to drive without insurance and a valid driving license.
Make sure if you have GPS you can use it, it is a wonderful way to make your travel independent and stress free. However always carry the maps and road book and the telephone number for the breakdown service if required.
In view of changed speed limits and some rules better read driving rules of the country or have a few driving lessons . Anyway you can always trust public transport.
If driving remember,here pedestrian has right of the way and not the car . Do not ever try to bribe a policeman if stopped, and always stop if asked by a policeman. Also always obey the traffic lights they are fitted with cameras.
Make sure if you have GPS you can use it, it is a wonderful way to make your travel independent and stress free. However always carry the maps and road book and the telephone number for the breakdown service if required.
In view of changed speed limits and some rules better read driving rules of the country or have a few driving lessons . Anyway you can always trust public transport.
If driving remember,here pedestrian has right of the way and not the car . Do not ever try to bribe a policeman if stopped, and always stop if asked by a policeman. Also always obey the traffic lights they are fitted with cameras.
Travelling
For all Asians,travel in Europe is although costly but very satisfying and organised. Absence of crowd in trains and buses pleasantly surprises. To keep it that way:
Plan your travel in advance- you get financially better deals as well as confirmed accommodation.
Use computer for bookings-you get cheaper and better deals.
Be careful in giving your Credit/Debit Card details.
Carry with you own reading material, drinks and snacks. It is cheaper and convenient.
All places are well marked, however do not hesitate to ask road/rail employees, if needed. Follow instructions and timings.
Travel light and keep your luggage at appointed place in train/Buses. Generally travel is safe, however it is better if you take a travel insurance in advance
Carry only required cash and take care. Some local journeys by Underground/Metro can be quite unpredictable. Pickpockets are universal '
Public transport is always reliable and economical and should be preferred. Do not think of the taxi as a status symbol. Although it can be convenient at some time and place when public transport is not easily available.
Plan your travel in advance- you get financially better deals as well as confirmed accommodation.
Use computer for bookings-you get cheaper and better deals.
Be careful in giving your Credit/Debit Card details.
Carry with you own reading material, drinks and snacks. It is cheaper and convenient.
All places are well marked, however do not hesitate to ask road/rail employees, if needed. Follow instructions and timings.
Travel light and keep your luggage at appointed place in train/Buses. Generally travel is safe, however it is better if you take a travel insurance in advance
Carry only required cash and take care. Some local journeys by Underground/Metro can be quite unpredictable. Pickpockets are universal '
Public transport is always reliable and economical and should be preferred. Do not think of the taxi as a status symbol. Although it can be convenient at some time and place when public transport is not easily available.
Guard against the weather - always
The weather is always unpredictable, particularly so in UK/Europe. It is better to dress up in layers so that you can put on /off as required, when outdoors.
Entering a closed space (house or any other heated building take off outer jacket which is usually weatherproof/padded]. Even in summers it is good to carry a light outer jacket.
Do not fight weather, learn to enjoy it. One finds scenes changing dramatically in each season. All you need is appropriate clothing and a mindset to enjoy it.
Entering a closed space (house or any other heated building take off outer jacket which is usually weatherproof/padded]. Even in summers it is good to carry a light outer jacket.
Do not fight weather, learn to enjoy it. One finds scenes changing dramatically in each season. All you need is appropriate clothing and a mindset to enjoy it.
Money Money
From home country bring only foreign currency permitted. Do not exceed limits. A credit card with chip and pin is invaluable.
Carry only required money in pocket. Bulk funds/TCs/Passport etc to be kept in safe custody.
Carry only one Credit/Debit Card when moving around. Better use Debit Card, if needed. Keep in mind you pay for every transaction by way of low conversion rates by Banks.
If senior citizen use rail card and similar privileges. Find out from locals or information is available on the net for rail and coach cards. Carry a photocopy of your passport.
Purchase gifts for home only towards end of stay and always keep in mind weight limits. Airport shop(Duty free) in India and Dubai etc are cheap. If changing flights ensure not to buy liquors at starting point as at intermediate change station you will not be allowed to carry liquids over 100ml in a bottle. Do not buy gifts for home as everything is available cheaper than here.
Charity shops have small knick knacks at fraction of the cost-good for presents at home
Don’t be a miser but also do not throw money around. Seniors usually are thrifty. Good for them.
Carry only required money in pocket. Bulk funds/TCs/Passport etc to be kept in safe custody.
Carry only one Credit/Debit Card when moving around. Better use Debit Card, if needed. Keep in mind you pay for every transaction by way of low conversion rates by Banks.
If senior citizen use rail card and similar privileges. Find out from locals or information is available on the net for rail and coach cards. Carry a photocopy of your passport.
Purchase gifts for home only towards end of stay and always keep in mind weight limits. Airport shop(Duty free) in India and Dubai etc are cheap. If changing flights ensure not to buy liquors at starting point as at intermediate change station you will not be allowed to carry liquids over 100ml in a bottle. Do not buy gifts for home as everything is available cheaper than here.
Charity shops have small knick knacks at fraction of the cost-good for presents at home
Don’t be a miser but also do not throw money around. Seniors usually are thrifty. Good for them.
Monday, 2 February 2009
Health - senior citizens in particular
Inspite of a nominal health insurance (which is rather costly) personal health is the biggest worry for GPs when they travel abroad.
Open any baggage of incoming GP at airport and you are bound to get tons of medicines, churans and other local herbal remedies. Away from mother country you cannot approach a Doctor unless you are covered by Insurance. Post-60s one needs it most. So best is to keep fit and remain healthy.
Broadly we put it in two categories- food/drinking habits and physical fitness. We can share information and benefit from each others personal experiences . Caution IT IS NOT ESSENTIAL THAT ONE PERSONS MEDICINES OR EXERCISES CAN BE APPLIED TO EVERY ONE BLINDLY. So do please tread with caution when trying out something new.
Food - Native food habits at times may not be best suited for a foreign location and you cannot always carry your home packets everywhere. My suggestion is innovate, accept variation and be flexible in adapting new dishes/drinks without being blind copycat.
A few things which helped us are:
-Try stores like ASDA/TESCO/Foreign grocery shops- you will always find some things similar to your native ingredient. We go for greens, frozen fishes( these are frozen within short time of catch so are very fresh when cooked.
- Choose the category (VEG/Fish/Lamb meat/Poultry )and seek help from others to try foods of the land
-Don't hesitate to enquire/read cost and ingredients whatever is chosen
- Do not always convert local costs with your native currency- you may remain hungry.
- Take plenty of liquids i.e. Juices, water and light wines/beers only if necessary. In colder climate we tend to drink less
- Eat timely and eat well to remain healthy. A menu we generally adhere to is --- MorningTea, Breakfast of Cereals/Muesli/ Oats, Wholegrain bread which also has seeds in it. Once in a while try Mooli/Alu Paratha with oil on one side, Frozen Corn boiled and add Ginger/Green chillies and Dhaniya leaf and lime juice if required . In the food section of this blog we will look at the Breakfast choices.
PHYSICAL FITNESS
-Long walks ( keep your complete address, phone no . Some money and change, local Taxi numbers, Police and Hospital numbers, and neighbours no in your pocket). Before start plan your route with local help, dress well, carry umbrella/raincoat if needed, Have very comfortable shoes(not new). A mobile phone is necessary. Don't be afraid of asking for help from a policeman.
These tips have helped to make our stay, outings and shopping here easier and more enjoyable. Please feel free to add your comments and tips about anything you have found very useful and helpful in easing your stay here.
Open any baggage of incoming GP at airport and you are bound to get tons of medicines, churans and other local herbal remedies. Away from mother country you cannot approach a Doctor unless you are covered by Insurance. Post-60s one needs it most. So best is to keep fit and remain healthy.
Broadly we put it in two categories- food/drinking habits and physical fitness. We can share information and benefit from each others personal experiences . Caution IT IS NOT ESSENTIAL THAT ONE PERSONS MEDICINES OR EXERCISES CAN BE APPLIED TO EVERY ONE BLINDLY. So do please tread with caution when trying out something new.
Food - Native food habits at times may not be best suited for a foreign location and you cannot always carry your home packets everywhere. My suggestion is innovate, accept variation and be flexible in adapting new dishes/drinks without being blind copycat.
A few things which helped us are:
-Try stores like ASDA/TESCO/Foreign grocery shops- you will always find some things similar to your native ingredient. We go for greens, frozen fishes( these are frozen within short time of catch so are very fresh when cooked.
- Choose the category (VEG/Fish/Lamb meat/Poultry )and seek help from others to try foods of the land
-Don't hesitate to enquire/read cost and ingredients whatever is chosen
- Do not always convert local costs with your native currency- you may remain hungry.
- Take plenty of liquids i.e. Juices, water and light wines/beers only if necessary. In colder climate we tend to drink less
- Eat timely and eat well to remain healthy. A menu we generally adhere to is --- MorningTea, Breakfast of Cereals/Muesli/ Oats, Wholegrain bread which also has seeds in it. Once in a while try Mooli/Alu Paratha with oil on one side, Frozen Corn boiled and add Ginger/Green chillies and Dhaniya leaf and lime juice if required . In the food section of this blog we will look at the Breakfast choices.
PHYSICAL FITNESS
-Long walks ( keep your complete address, phone no . Some money and change, local Taxi numbers, Police and Hospital numbers, and neighbours no in your pocket). Before start plan your route with local help, dress well, carry umbrella/raincoat if needed, Have very comfortable shoes(not new). A mobile phone is necessary. Don't be afraid of asking for help from a policeman.
These tips have helped to make our stay, outings and shopping here easier and more enjoyable. Please feel free to add your comments and tips about anything you have found very useful and helpful in easing your stay here.
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